"BEING A MOTHER SHOULD BE THE HARDEST THING TO DO, WHEN DONE WELL"
I then began thinking about this statement. That when doing a good job as a mom, it should be the hardest thing to do. I then asked myself: Do I really feel being a mom is a hard thing? As I pondered about this question and came to this answer that- Yes, I feel it's complicated here and there but given the fact that Peyton is not crawling or walking yet and is very easily entertained for hours sitting on a blanket with a bunch of toys surrounding him...(I guess I must have a very easy going baby) And also have a husband that is here the majority of the day and ALWAYS switches off with me doing feedings, diaper changes...and what not and who always checks to make sure I'm not overwhelmed. I came to find out that- As for right now in my life I don't feel it's the hardest thing to do. Maybe I will feel later that being a mom is the hardest thing to do...when I'm pregnant again or sick....or when peyton is running everywhere...this statement can also change due to what season you are at in your life. Maybe it's because I have been through much harder things in my life? (school, mission, callings) But when answering to the statement No...not right now...I then feel like I am not doing the best I can....since the statement says....WHEN DONE WELL.....motherhood should be a hard task. Although I do feel it's hard but so far not the hardest thing I've done. Nevertheless, this is Oprah here...it's not doctrine, but an interesting concept to think about. So I wanted to get your thoughts on this statement and what it means to you and how you personally interpret it.
4 comments:
I totally agree with this statement. Let me explain...I DO feel like being a mom has come very easily to me, but to be a GOOD mom takes work. Yes, it's true that if you just make sure your baby is fed, clothed, and cuddled, they'll be fine, but I think there is so much more to being a GOOD mom than that. I am always looking for new ways I can teach Taelie something or new games I can play with her, or places I can take her, etc. Not to overwhelm her, but to make sure that she has the best upbringing possible. Also, I think it's really easy to get overwhelmed, especially as a stay-at-home mom, when you might not have as much interaction with the outside world. It's easy to get frustrated when kids do little things that are completley developmentally appropriate, but you get frustrated and think that they are acting out or being naughty or something. I think it's harder because you have to constantly be watching yourself-- how are you acting, how are you reacting, what am I teaching my child right now...because they are always watching.
sorry for the novel. I really could go on forever about my opinions on parenting, but... :)
I like Oprah and all and I feel like she's a pretty knowledgeable person, but it's funny to me when she makes a statement like then when she has never been a mother. Just interesting. Doesn't make it any less credible, but I don't really know where I was going with that...
Oh, so anyway - yeah I would probably have to agree with that comment too. Partly. Granted I'm not a mother yet, but I can see the way my own mother struggled and did what the best that she could have done as a mother.
That doesn't mean that it will be the most difficult thing we as women do AT ANY GIVEN MOMENT IN OUR LIVES. I think what it really is saying is that at the end of our lives we will look back at our good days and our bad and say that raising a family IS difficult because we worked hard and learned a lot... but hopefully it is one of the most rewarding things we do, too.
And there is my two cents. :)
Hey Brooke! .. By the way, your kitchen is darling! I love it! -
I totally agree with Oprah as well... and that is saying something,because a lot of times I don't.. :) Buuut, that's for another time! :) heheh...
Jen hit it right on the nose. I think the biggest thing for me is letting go of myself and trying to see how important this stage of life is and how even these seemingly un important moments can shape who they are. .. but then not stressing too much about it of course :) Just showing them happiness, love, compassion, love for your spouse, love for adventure, love for reading and using your hands to work. Trying to stimulate their brains with activities, songs, things to touch, smell, see and hear... showing them that they are miracles and that you wouldn't want to be anywhere else but there with them at that moment. Trying to create an environment where they can feel the Spirit and feel calm and peace because of it. Like Jen said, watching yourself and making sure you are your child's best first teacher, best example and the best mommy you can be... I will be the first to admit that I have my faults and trying to overcome them is more then just for me now, it's for the example that I am setting for Sam.
It's not just the baby growing and learning to new things, I am too. Granted, you are the oldest and have probably had more experience with babies, I had NO clue what I was doing :) - Mike was being hit at every corner with deadlines at work and in the hardest year of his college experience.
Being a mother can be as boring or as stimulating as you want it to be. There are so many things to be explored, so many wonderful milestones and so many adventures to go on.. which become a new adventure almost every week because of how quickly they are developing.. you can do the same thing you did today in a month and it will be like a new experience... but what makes it fun for the mommy is to watch the wonder and excitement in their child's eyes.
- As far as the hard verses easy.. I think that depends on who you are and what your circumstance is. Like you said, you have an easy baby. Sammy would NEVER just sit on a blanket for hours. I thought I was lucky when he'd sit there for 10-15 minutes.. I mean REALLY lucky :) - You also are at a cool time where you have your husband there with you so much of the time to take half of some of the hard stuff away. :) So- Don't let Oprah tell you that you aren't doing the best you can, she doesn't know you or your circumstance, and she, as wonderful as she is, has never experienced motherhood. Like I said, the boring verses stimulating aspect is up to us, the hard versus not hard is due to our experience and situation :) .. those are my thoughts :)
I Really Really like what you said Cara...all your guys comments very good:) I liked how you said the hard vs. easy depends on your circumstance and experience...I totally agree with that:) Thanks for making me feel more at ease...For me, some times are difficult and others aren't. I also liked how you said...how boring or how stimulating being a mom is, is up to us. Very true!
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