So lately I have been having a hard time with not thinking life is so routine. I feel like all I ever do is change diapers, feed peyton, clean...ugh, which don't get me wrong...all things I love to do. But at the same time it's crazy how different my life is. Let me give you an inside look to me. I have a very strong personality. In the past few years I feel I have accomplished a lot by going on a mission, finishing college, getting married...honeymoon baby...And I feel like I have been so accustomed to my mind constantly being stimulated. Always learing, learning, and learning. Studying anatomy, the gospel, teaching kick boxing classes...getting all cute and ready for the day...to now I am a stay at home mom. And my mental stimulation comes from Oprah and Rachael Ray. Now, don't get me wrong..I do like being a stay at home mom. But at the same time I don't think I have the personality for it. I really truly don't. I feel their are many girls that can chill at home, be bored...have routine days and be so happy and content. Although, I do love Peyton a lot it's just not cuttin it for me....I need something....work? maybe. I dunno...it's a complicated situation cuz I don't want to have to do day care because I'll be down in St. George soon with no one to help out. Make best friends with ladies in my ward and get them to babysit? Who knows.... I am a very extroverted person that loves taking risks, setting and achieving goals.... and now, what goals do I have? It's hard. For all you moms...are you going through this same issue? How can I view life more optimistically? I know, I know...read the scriptures, find the answers. But is their more I can do? It has led me to take on scrap booking..something I have wanted to do, ok...got the hang of that now. So, now what? I feel so so limited on what I CAN do.. I would give anything to be back in college right now..pursuing a masters degree, perhaps? But in what? I'm at a loss. And I feel like it's those moms who are SO much like me, that can fall into post pardum depression so so easily. Because you are use to going going going to now....being a stay at home mom. Sure, I can go on walks..but once, again...I need something more. Please Help!!!
The Barkers 2020
4 years ago
10 comments:
I went through that after I had Tristan. I ended up getting called to work with the Temple Celebration! But what I was going to do was either Yoga twice a week or take a cake decorating class. I know what you mean though it's hard to know what to do. It's hard being pulled in many directions. We need to as mothers take the time for us so we can be better moms and wives. I hope you can find something to get you out of the funk!
Brooke, do not get discouraged! Having a baby so young does get rather routine. Just hang in there though! As soon as he gets old enough to "do" things you will feel better. It wasn't until Payson was like 13 months that we started doing stuff. Now we like to have a schedule: Story time at the library, swimming, going to the park with neighborhood kids and moms, etc. We have to have at least one activity a day to get us out of the house.
Brooke you don't know me that well but I just have to add some of my thoughts since I can completely understand. I think every single mother goes through those feelings. I still do- with 3 kids. For me it was finding something to keep me busy. I need that stimulation and reason to get up and out. So that is why I do my preschool. It was my answer to staying busy, but still being a stay at home mom. There are so many moms that do something similar. Hence photographers, jewelry designers (etsy.com). Get involved with other mom groups. Get a play group togher (even though Peyton is still young) its truly more for mom's anyways :).
Its definitely an adjustment and its hard, but just remember its normal to feel that way. Hope that helps!!
Welcome to motherhood Brooke! In the past two years your life has done a complete 180. Yes, you are crazy and adventurous! It’s times like these that make it hard to be a stay at home mom. It is definitely worth the sacrifice but you need to find your own way. Find out what makes you happy and fulfilled!
YES I know EXACTLY what you mean. Jack is 9 months old and i still struggle with this! I feel best about myself when I find joy in keeping our house clean, cooking something that took some work (I actually like to cook now...weird) and developing talents that I may not have had time to do before. and as far as gaining more education, who says you have to be in school to learn?? I've started reading books on topics that I'm interested in and I feel like I'm learning so much and it's at my own pace and it's things I actually care about. I know it's tough to be home all day everyday! I get a lot of my mental stimulation from the Ellen show and Gilmore Girls :)
Now although I don't know much about having a child just yet, I do know what it is like to feel like life gets too routine. It was compounded even more for me when I was laid off from my job: I went from going to school and working full time and hardly enough time to do ANYTHING - to staying home (no job, no school). Now THAT was a transition for me.
I think that the key is to find things to help fill your day that you can look forward to. For example, I found that I really like to read and paint. Reading for me, helps to fill that need for mental stimulation.
Exercising is key for me too.
Of course you need to find things that will help you feel better.
Oh, and I hate to say it because we all know and hear it all the time... but service was the BIGGEST thing that helped to change my outlook. When I was able to help others out - I tended to forget about how I was feeling.
Sorry that you are in a stupor. I know you will figure it out, though.
Ok so I think all mom's go through this stage!! I went back to work because I to felt bored but everytime I left and came back home I felt like I was missing everything and then I started to get overwhelmed because when I was home I felt like I needed to clean the house because that was getting way behind and I didn't feel like I got to spend anytime with the family!! As they get older I promise it gets better because you can do more playdates, take them to the library, to the park, and to so many more things. This is just an age that you do feel like they are always taking naps, eating, and pooping! Enjoy the time and before you know it you will have a little friend that will go with you everywhere and can talk to ya and play with you and it will be your responsibility to teach them the gospel and the alphabet and things like that!!! Find lots of hobbies in the mean time besides just scrapbooking and challege yourself to continue to keep learning at home (which is actually pretty challenging in itself)!! Good luck and know that your not alone!!
Hey, I have to agree with everyone else that all Moms go through this!! You really just have to have things to look forward to. Like for me, the Gym is my out. I get to get out of the house, leave the kids in the childcare, and do something for me (yoga, running, hip hop, ect) it helps so much, plus I'm doing something I love!! Play groups are good too!!!! It's so nice to get out and socialize with other mom's!! Hope you start feeling better!
I went through the exact same feelings after I had my first baby. I found it helped to stay active, book clubs, play date groups, etc. Also, I started doing random crafts and now I am opening up a business for it. It's a much harder life being a mom than anything else. Just get out there and have fun! I am sure that you have friends with kids that you can make play dates with...and there a lots of things to do in St. George! Good luck and I know things will get better.
Brooke, it's true! It happened to me too. I decided to make a list of all of the things I wanted to learn how to do - play the guitar, better play the piano, learn how to cook gormet meals, sew, learn more about millions of different subjects... photography.. the list is practically endless... That helped for a little while, and still does help, but one day I got so overwhelmed I had Mike take Sam so I could just go in our room, turn off the lights and just lay in bed for a little bit... While I was in there, it hit me! My new hobby was going to be learning how to be the best mom for my kids. I started exploring Salt Lake and UT valley for adventures Sam and I could have together, The Gardens at Thanksgiving point, Dino museum, the farm, the aquarium, just walking around Salt Lake City and looking at all of the buildings, going to big libraries and finding books that I could buy for Sam and music that would be fun and educational for him. I started reading books on parenting and finances, finger painted with Sam and so much more... It bacame my new adventure. Not only was it good for Sam, but seeing what it was doing for him put me on that natural high that I needed. I keep telling myself that it isn't going to last very long, this time with our children, so I need to live this part of life up before it slips away like all of those other amazing pre-married pre-baby times did. - I still have my list of other things I want to learn how to do and am getting better at some of them, and some of them are just going to have to wait. - But almost every day is an adventure, even if it means just staying at home and spending all day on the ground playing with Sam and watching him grow :).
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